[there is a very tight attempt to repress his growing guilt,]
I wanted to use my wish to figure out who killed Yuu, so I talked to Kate on Sunday and asked to partner up. That's when she told me the truth.
I couldn't do anything. Because it's not her fault. But I wanted to -- because I was so angry, but... it's Kate. [the guilt grows, combined with despair] And she's wanted to make that wish no matter what, so...
I said I'd partner with her so she could make it. So she could at least have that. And I did. I helped her, even though she killed Yuu. It wasn't her fault, but she still killed him -- and I... I didn't turn away. I helped her.
[the emotion is not surprise. when he mentioned partnering yesterday, this is what she thought he meant. and the letters they received earlier really left no room for doubt who was responsible.
relief, maybe, that he already knew, and chose to tell her. but she can feel his guilt and despair.]
Is that wrong? Is that bad? [she knows the complication here is what kanda might think; his letter, reading between the lines, was fairly straightforward.] It's Kate. Of course you would help her. [it's just one of the complications, when you allow yourself to grow attached to multiple people - your attachments to them sometimes conflict.]
[and there's a surge of self-directed disgust too, that his feelings have gotten so messy to this point, because he really shouldn't have these attachments in the first place. but it's too late now.]
I do want to help her. [another pulse of grief,] I just wish I could have helped Yuu the same way.
[and it is complicated, because it's quite clear that kanda would want a swift end to this. but she doesn't think wanting to try to save kate's life is purely an emotional decision. sometimes you can save someone.]
I don't think there's any right way or wrong way to do this. I don't think killing her swiftly would do any good, anyway. [if they're all going to die one by one until they get to five people.] So don't punish yourself for having a little empathy.
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[immediate guilt, and he shakes his head,]
...No. I knew who I was partnering with when I said yes.
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[her feeling is concern.]
Talk to me about your concerns. I don't want to go in circles. And other than Anis, I'm exchanged partners with everyone in the house.
no subject
I wanted to use my wish to figure out who killed Yuu, so I talked to Kate on Sunday and asked to partner up. That's when she told me the truth.
I couldn't do anything. Because it's not her fault. But I wanted to -- because I was so angry, but... it's Kate. [the guilt grows, combined with despair] And she's wanted to make that wish no matter what, so...
I said I'd partner with her so she could make it. So she could at least have that. And I did. I helped her, even though she killed Yuu. It wasn't her fault, but she still killed him -- and I... I didn't turn away. I helped her.
no subject
relief, maybe, that he already knew, and chose to tell her. but she can feel his guilt and despair.]
Is that wrong? Is that bad? [she knows the complication here is what kanda might think; his letter, reading between the lines, was fairly straightforward.] It's Kate. Of course you would help her. [it's just one of the complications, when you allow yourself to grow attached to multiple people - your attachments to them sometimes conflict.]
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[and there's a surge of self-directed disgust too, that his feelings have gotten so messy to this point, because he really shouldn't have these attachments in the first place. but it's too late now.]
I do want to help her. [another pulse of grief,] I just wish I could have helped Yuu the same way.
no subject
[and it is complicated, because it's quite clear that kanda would want a swift end to this. but she doesn't think wanting to try to save kate's life is purely an emotional decision. sometimes you can save someone.]
I don't think there's any right way or wrong way to do this. I don't think killing her swiftly would do any good, anyway. [if they're all going to die one by one until they get to five people.] So don't punish yourself for having a little empathy.