[ God. He laughs, a bitter sound that borders on a slight edge of hysteria, curling over where he sits. It dies out quick enough as he hangs his head, helpless silence in its wake. ]
[ It's kind of comforting in a way. He feels bad for any splinters, for feeling like a madman. She just kind of takes it into stride most days. He gestures to her blindly though. ]
Exactly what you said. That there really is no escape, and maybe I should just accept it?
I'm not wise or strong at all, Daniël. [a small, dark smile.] It's been thirty years of this, and I'm tired of fighting, and many days I don't even know who I am - if there's any part of me left that isn't just her.
I just think I want to consider trying to not give up after all, that's all. [consider trying to not, that's as far as she can go.]
...You're telling me that, but I haven't even been alive that long and I'm already on the precipice. So, you'll maybe understand a little bit why I think so?
I also often hear the same thing. That I'm no better than the rest, the people that I've tried to distance myself from, and it. That it's always there in me, as long as I exist. It's what I'm hearing now, ever since I tried to walk out of that shitshow.
[ Execution, that is. Really this has been the roughest 12 hours ever ICly. ]
...And yet, the alleged goal of this cult isn't an early extinction.
Yes, they intend for all lives lost by the end, but they need some amount -- to take the bare minimum, let's say just one -- alive at the actual moment of the summon.
...Yes. It doesn't make sense. I suppose they could stop summoning monsters if our numbers get down to too few, but you would think sacrificing more of us would be ideal.
[so why.]
It makes you wonder what the Overseers are actually trying to accomplish.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Can't say I haven't been considering it...
no subject
Considering what?
no subject
Exactly what you said. That there really is no escape, and maybe I should just accept it?
no subject
[if anything she's learned going along isn't easier than clawing tooth and nail.]
no subject
Then I don't know what to do.
no subject
[she lost her life so long ago; all the advantages she has are this sense of self she's retained.]
no subject
no subject
I just think I want to consider trying to not give up after all, that's all. [consider trying to not, that's as far as she can go.]
no subject
I also often hear the same thing. That I'm no better than the rest, the people that I've tried to distance myself from, and it. That it's always there in me, as long as I exist. It's what I'm hearing now, ever since I tried to walk out of that shitshow.
[ Execution, that is. Really this has been the roughest 12 hours ever ICly. ]
no subject
[it's not from her.]
I don't even know what it is, or who they are, dear.
no subject
I'm not trying to burden you or trying to garner sympathy with a bunch of nihilistic talk. I'm just a bit worried, is all.
no subject
no subject
[ Silent for a moment, absently rubbing his upper arm. ]
Another week gone. Another six people also gone.
What do you think of our chances?
no subject
[bluntly.]
If we lose this many every week...
no subject
Yes, they intend for all lives lost by the end, but they need some amount -- to take the bare minimum, let's say just one -- alive at the actual moment of the summon.
Leaves you wondering a bit.
no subject
[so why.]
It makes you wonder what the Overseers are actually trying to accomplish.
no subject
You don't trust them still?
no subject
[does not elaborate.]
But I don't think they have told us everything about what they're attempting. I think they would admit as much.
no subject
...
I'm sure they haven't shown all their cards. That comes with all sorts of risks of their own.
no subject
[at least she thinks so.]
Yes, precisely. So we may be missing some of the pieces.