Life finds a way despite the odds. I'll just try to focus on the nice things... I do like surviving, and my little spiritual, freeloading neighbour in me agrees. But my pesky heart does still say I'd be so happy to watch someone else fight through the darkness.
Unfortunately, someone will be killing me tomorrow. It will probably be depressing and dour. But I'm sure they'll find a way to pull through despite it and kill me, because that's what everyone always does, right?
Oh. [she smiles.] I hate seeing all of you live your wonderful lives. I always hate you for it, just a little. Maybe that's why I always liked you, Daniël. You weren't enjoying it at all.
I think you're right. But I do try not to be bitter about it, as much as I can. It's not their faults. Are you destined for darkness always, too, dear?
I've never been upset about my status, per se... but yes. It does seem like it. TIme and time again it manages to find me despite everything... or maybe I'm the one who keeps going back.
I think you know better, even if you can't admit it now. It's so much easier and so much nicer not to fight so hard. It's the only way to find happiness, I think. To care less, so nothing can hurt.
So I understand, and forgive you, for the cowardice.
I can't really speak to what most people do with their lives. Those are the standard ones, but then they continue on for a long time after, most of the time.
Oh, you know. Just my impending death-match, and if I do survive that, I suppose I might have to live out the rest of my week in the paranoia that one of you will take on the job instead.
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I didn't think you had it in you to wound me with words... but it is what it is...
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[she gives him an apologetic smile back.]
You do seem fun. If we'd started out knowing one another this way, I might have come to like you.
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Oh well, can't turn back time and change the past now. We've only got the future. All twelve-something hours of it or however long I've got...
[ A pinch nervously. ]
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[ah. even horny sleep paralysis demons get scared of their own mortality.]
Short on time?
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[gale and the pen...]
It seems a bit rigged, doesn't it?
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[let's focus on them.]
If the time really is so short, there's no need to think about the darkness.
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I do like that.
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I do love seeing you all bask in the sun. Live your wonderful lives.
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Some people just aren't meant for it, you know? Some children are just destined for darkness always. That's alright.
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[tilting her head, smiling slightly.]
I think you know better, even if you can't admit it now. It's so much easier and so much nicer not to fight so hard. It's the only way to find happiness, I think. To care less, so nothing can hurt.
So I understand, and forgive you, for the cowardice.
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[ Okay don't be a freak ]
It's rare to find kindred spirits when everybody wants for the sun, bask in the light. I'm no different.
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[it's okay to be a freak.]
But really, dear, I don't know. You're just so young. You don't even know yet, how long life can be. And you may never learn.
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Traveled the continent. Set off apart from my parents. Got a job. Grew into a profession. Got married. Seen war. Survived it. Lost her.
That's an awful lot of milestones. Seems like I've checked it all off.
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Well, no point in thinking that far into the future anyways. Not right now. Much bigger issues on the plate.
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