Ashlyn

[undread]

Comments

[undread]

...I was a little bit like you when I was younger. I didn't get along very well with anyone else in town.

[killies]

[ maybe it would be polite to act surprised but. no that tracks. ]

Why not?

[undread]

I had unusual abilities and wasn't very similar to all of them.

[but listen she was a normal awkward girl how insane she is now took like 30 years of trauma to accomplish]

[killies]

I wouldn't call my hearing an... ability... But I get how that is. You end up hearing a lot of things you weren't supposed to. That's why I like being alone. Then I don't have to deal with that.

[undread]

Yes. People are not very understanding towards others when their existence is inconvenient.

[killies]

Mm. We talked about it a little before.

... What about your parents, though? [ children don't need friends their own age. it's fine. ]

[undread]

They were kind. I liked them. But I haven't thought about them in a very long time.

[killies]

Oh. That's... kind of sad.

[undread]

Is it?

[she gives an awkward smile.]

I don't really know what happened to them - if they died when I died, or if they continued on without me for some time. It was just better not to think about anything from my life before I died. "Laudna" wasn't even my name back then.

[killies]

But it seems like you remember the bad parts of growing up just fine. Wouldn't it be better to remember the good stuff too? Or instead?

[undread]

...Well, I started talking about some of it again recently.

[for a long time she didn't think about any of it.]

But I think remembering things that were good is worse sometimes, don't you?

[killies]

[ a. long pause, actually. ]

... No, not really.

[undread]

...Well, I'm glad, then. For your happy memories?

[killies]

That place we went last week. I got kind of... stuck in an illusion. Not quite memories, but... Like a good dream. I wish I hadn't. It made coming back to this afterwards harder.

But the real memories are good.

[undread]

Oh.

[mmm. she frowns.]

I see what you mean. That does sound awful.

[killies]

Being trapped and remembering things are different, though. I don't know.

[undread]

It sounds awful. I agree it's worse.

[since what you're experiencing wasn't even ever real.]

[killies]

So by comparison, just having good memories isn't bad.

[undread]

...Maybe not. I think for a long time, I felt if I dwelled on everything I lost, I wouldn't be able to make it. I had to find things I had in my life now to be happy about. Just little things - Pâté, my dolls, my crafts, fixing up a little house.

But it hasn't been as bad for me, these past few years. And I wouldn't want to give up those new memories.

[killies]

So you just need both. Things for right now and things from before.