[ the second he's close enough, rondo immediately bows. like, 90 degrees, back straight, head down, hand to his heart. deeply sincere: ]
I...I wanted to apologize to you. My words and actions the past two days have been unfathomably awful - I swear, those are not at all my true thoughts or intentions when it comes to you. I... don't know what came over me, and of course, you don't have to forgive me, but I'm so, so sorry.
[oh. well. she's a little confused for a second by this, because rondo didn't really even do anything other than get angry when she prodded him. which, she did for very specific and important reasons, but she can't seem to remember them right now.
totty did say they were cursed, which at the time felt like a slap in the face, like he didn't believe her. but now that she tries to muster up that certainty she felt about him, she can't find it.
she is very good at lying to and deluding herself, and the more you push back against her the more certain she feels; it's a hard web to untangle, because the more she felt her feelings about rondo were being dismissed the more stubborn she felt. but if he's apologizing, then that's not a dismissal of the feelings.]
It's... it's alright. I think we were cursed, weren't we?
[ he straightens, finally, once she accepts - the hesitance is fine, but it wipes some of the nerves off of his face when she does, and his shoulders sink, a little relieved. it's been such a Week. ]
...That's what Todomatsu said. [ he nods, along, and it just - ugh. it sits badly with him, makes his heart hurt. ] I really... I can't stand those kinds of curses, it's just cruel to mess with the way people feel when things here are already so precarious.
[ considering. people can die at any time, here. the bonds between the sacrifices are so deeply important to him, and to have them tampered with - especially like this, to make him cruel and mean in ways that he just isn't, and never has been - breaks his heart. ]
At the time, I couldn't believe him. Not even a little. That's the scariest part. I can't imagine a world where I actually feel that way, and this place imagined it for me.
[but she can imagine a world where she felt that way. that's no shade on rondo, she just. her feelings are precarious. she has felt intense hate towards people before that she knows in another situation she would have cared about. it was too hard to look past how much her fears involved being dismissed, especially when it was about someone like rondo. too easy to feel that of course no one believed her or listened to her, when he's seen as so good and heroic.]
But I don't... really think you did those things I said you did. I was just confused. I felt so angry at you, and like no one else could see what I saw, and it felt as though there had to be a reason for it.
[ there's a little huff, a small, sheepish smile as he listens. ]
Still, that's an awful feeling to have. [ one where no one else can see what you see. even though it was cursed based, it's awful, frustrating. ] I'm sorry for that, too.
Honestly... I would have likely deserved your anger, with everything that happened with Miss Camille. [ I was a murderer, in the end. ] But you had done nothing to deserve mine. And after you've been so kind to me, too... I wish I had been able to tell.
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and then she thinks for a second and tries to remember again why she came to that conclusion to begin with. hmmm. there must have been a reason?
How strange.]
Hello, Rondo...
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I...I wanted to apologize to you. My words and actions the past two days have been unfathomably awful - I swear, those are not at all my true thoughts or intentions when it comes to you. I... don't know what came over me, and of course, you don't have to forgive me, but I'm so, so sorry.
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totty did say they were cursed, which at the time felt like a slap in the face, like he didn't believe her. but now that she tries to muster up that certainty she felt about him, she can't find it.
she is very good at lying to and deluding herself, and the more you push back against her the more certain she feels; it's a hard web to untangle, because the more she felt her feelings about rondo were being dismissed the more stubborn she felt. but if he's apologizing, then that's not a dismissal of the feelings.]
It's... it's alright. I think we were cursed, weren't we?
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...That's what Todomatsu said. [ he nods, along, and it just - ugh. it sits badly with him, makes his heart hurt. ] I really... I can't stand those kinds of curses, it's just cruel to mess with the way people feel when things here are already so precarious.
[ considering. people can die at any time, here. the bonds between the sacrifices are so deeply important to him, and to have them tampered with - especially like this, to make him cruel and mean in ways that he just isn't, and never has been - breaks his heart. ]
At the time, I couldn't believe him. Not even a little. That's the scariest part. I can't imagine a world where I actually feel that way, and this place imagined it for me.
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[but she can imagine a world where she felt that way. that's no shade on rondo, she just. her feelings are precarious. she has felt intense hate towards people before that she knows in another situation she would have cared about. it was too hard to look past how much her fears involved being dismissed, especially when it was about someone like rondo. too easy to feel that of course no one believed her or listened to her, when he's seen as so good and heroic.]
But I don't... really think you did those things I said you did. I was just confused. I felt so angry at you, and like no one else could see what I saw, and it felt as though there had to be a reason for it.
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[ there's a little huff, a small, sheepish smile as he listens. ]
Still, that's an awful feeling to have. [ one where no one else can see what you see. even though it was cursed based, it's awful, frustrating. ] I'm sorry for that, too.
Honestly... I would have likely deserved your anger, with everything that happened with Miss Camille. [ I was a murderer, in the end. ] But you had done nothing to deserve mine. And after you've been so kind to me, too... I wish I had been able to tell.
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[she said as much to gale but she just couldn't find her way to feeling that about rondo while cursed. I've killed people before for worse reasons.]