mathis

[undread]

Comments

[cumulative]

...I don't think any of us are.

[there's grief in his own emotions, with exhaustion and a tinge of frustration.]

Will you be?

[undread]

Yes.

[she feels she can answer that with some certainty. she feels sorrow. she misses kate. but she has to be okay with the decision that she made, so she will be.]

From the moment we arrived at this place, I wanted to protect her. And I'm not brave about these things, but I wanted to be for her.

[cumulative]

...I think that you were.

[she was braver, he thinks, than he would have been.]

[undread]

I hope so.

[she would like to be. she tried to be. but it does hurt a lot.]

These things are so complex. But I think... she cared about him so deeply, you know. [scien.] Seeing it go that far - I don't think it could continue.

[cumulative]

I... I had that impression from what she said about him, yesterday.

[more grief, there, in his emotions.]

It would have been hard.

[undread]

And dangerous.

[the fact that she was taking out the overseers now. dangerous.]

[cumulative]

Y-yes. I still wish it hadn't come to it, but...

[but, well.

there's some regret there, and then a little guilt. he can't help wondering if he could have saved his last connection to home if he'd figured things out faster, but just as quickly feels badly for it.]

[undread]

It did. But there's more at stake now than just who lives and who dies. There's a plan, and it needs to work. So... that's what I want to focus on.

[cumulative]

How much of a plan is there...?

[undread]

Enough of one that it's worth trying to make it happen.

[cumulative]

...all right. I'll... trust you about that.

[undread]

[listen. she's not convinced it will work. but she's convinced enough it could work that she'd rather try for that than simply try to focus on surviving. he might have different priorities than she does, but it's the same basic idea.]

You can trust me on that. Please do. [because for him, quite obviously, the alternative is giving up, and even a bad plan is more likely to succeed than that.]

[cumulative]

I only know-- a little about it. But I've at least been told enough to have some idea that... that it's still going to be difficult.

[undread]

Yes. In contrast, being sacrificed to resurrect a god might be quite easy. You don't really have to do much of anything other than stand around and wait to die.

[cumulative]

[guilty feeling intensifies.]

But we've been... trying not to.

[undread]

Well. Personally, I would rather not be.

[cumulative]

I don't think any of us want to be.

[...]

And then speaking of plans, there's... there's Ashlyn.

[undread]

Hmm! You would think so.

[but she's not so sure of that. quite a few of you seem fine with the idea of dying.]

You seemed awfully ready to throw her to the wolves. [maybe that's cruel to say, but she's blunt as ever, meaning no malice to it. it just was something she noticed, and found odd - their disagreements, how fast he was to insist there was no other way forward except to sacrifice ash.]

[cumulative]

That's not--

[he starts to finish that sentence, stops, shakes his head a little, emotions turbulent. a little guilt, a little frustration.]

I can't... I can't explain why, beyond saying that Asa was wrong. But I don't want Ashlyn to die. I just didn't want...

[undread]

Didn't want what?

[cumulative]

Robin... made it a little easier, but before that, I was worried that we would... have a more uncomfortable discussion about what to do, because of Ashlyn's partner.

[undread]

I see.

[hmmm.]

So you wanted to be firm because you were afraid we would hesitate to sacrifice her partner, and you thought it might need to be done anyway.

[cumulative]

S-something... like that.

[a hesitant nod.]

But I would never do that without having a good reason for my feelings, even if... I can't say what it is.

[undread]

...I believe you.

[she does; it's clear something else was going on there.]