[she's not exactly thinking straight right now, her monster self what is most fixated on these grievances. but it is hard to focus on while he's talking to her this calmly and honestly.]
...I never wanted to trust or rely on anyone else here as much as myself, because people do turn on you. They disappoint you. [she's. so hurt and angry with gale right now. it isn't fair, but she is.] But I can put my life in your hands, and Lavi's hands. I can accept that.
If it isn't the peaceful, wonderful ending everyone imagines, and there are hard choices to be made, having a sense of self-preservation is, I think, a rather necessary trait. Don't let Lavi sacrifice himself for people who don't deserve it.
[ he's usually one of those people. among the worst of them. the kind who lies whenever the truth would make him look bad, and pushes others into harm's way to protect himself without a second thought. turning on people and disappointing them is what he does, and the idea of someone trusting him enough to put their life in his hands — to choose him for it, even — is honestly terrifying. how is he supposed to live up to that?
...he doesn't think he'll ever be able to really change who he is in the long run. akatsuka-sensei created him as a gag character; he was never designed to have lasting development. but as long as he's here, he's his own writer. he can let himself be out of character for a while. ]
I'll try not to. I don't know if I can promise I'll be successful, but... I don't want to let you down.
no subject
...I never wanted to trust or rely on anyone else here as much as myself, because people do turn on you. They disappoint you. [she's. so hurt and angry with gale right now. it isn't fair, but she is.] But I can put my life in your hands, and Lavi's hands. I can accept that.
If it isn't the peaceful, wonderful ending everyone imagines, and there are hard choices to be made, having a sense of self-preservation is, I think, a rather necessary trait. Don't let Lavi sacrifice himself for people who don't deserve it.
no subject
[ he's usually one of those people. among the worst of them. the kind who lies whenever the truth would make him look bad, and pushes others into harm's way to protect himself without a second thought. turning on people and disappointing them is what he does, and the idea of someone trusting him enough to put their life in his hands — to choose him for it, even — is honestly terrifying. how is he supposed to live up to that?
...he doesn't think he'll ever be able to really change who he is in the long run. akatsuka-sensei created him as a gag character; he was never designed to have lasting development. but as long as he's here, he's his own writer. he can let himself be out of character for a while. ]
I'll try not to. I don't know if I can promise I'll be successful, but... I don't want to let you down.