daan daniël

[undread]

Comments

[recession]

[ Speaks to your Laudna vibe accuracy. Very funny.

He can't just... stop going through the horrors, but he winces, uncertain. ]

...You're Laudna, and I'm... not in Europa. He can't be here... surely.

[undread]

[he can go through the horrors all he wants. she just doesn't want to be looked at with fear, specifically. going to approach him.]

You're here, Daniël. For better or for worse, nothing else can get in.

[recession]

...Or for worse.

[ He holds his head in his hands quietly, finger pressing at the inner corner of his good eye, as if the pressure will relieve some of the pain and pressure he feels everywhere else. ]

There's no escaping your fate, is there...?

[undread]

I don't know if I believe that.

[she's watching him carefully.]

Are you alright? Did you not heal from yesterday?

[recession]

... Mr. Greengrass helped me into the, uh, swamp.

[ He still thinks this is a horrible way to injury heal but whatever it's not like he has a choice when he took a buster sword straight to the chest. ]

I've healed, more or less -- I'm stable, I should say. But the cost for it seems to be more pain than ever.

[undread]

The pain didn't become worse immediately after the execution, did it?

[just a little curious, but.]

Pain and visions of something, too. I hope I won't need to use the swamp any time.

[recession]

Ugh... it looks like... exceptional pain, and an extraordinary lightheadedness whenever I happen to try to talk about yesterday's... culprits, I think it is.

...Visions... it's just visions, right? That thing can't possibly be here...

[undread]

I see. You see, I experienced a great deal of pain after Aqua died. I wondered if it was the same.

[she doesn't touch him, but she keeps her gaze steady on him.]

It isn't. You know I have also seen things. They weren't real, either.

[recession]

...My condolences for that, Ms. Laudna.

[ He bites the inside of his cheek, glancing out past wherever into the fog. ]

Have you? What sorts of things...?

[undread]

I heard Delilah last week.

[on wednesday, due to the tea.]

I truly felt she was there, she was really speaking to me.

[recession]

...They never do leave you alone, do they.

I don't think there's any escape from it.

[undread]

I think I...

[she stops, not sure how to find the words.]

I think I came to believe there was no escape, and decided to be fine with that, because it was easier. But I don't want to accept it as inevitable.

[recession]

[ God. He laughs, a bitter sound that borders on a slight edge of hysteria, curling over where he sits. It dies out quick enough as he hangs his head, helpless silence in its wake. ]

Can't say I haven't been considering it...

[undread]

[she's not really troubled by his hysteria or madness. she feels far from sane most of the time.]

Considering what?

[recession]

[ It's kind of comforting in a way. He feels bad for any splinters, for feeling like a madman. She just kind of takes it into stride most days. He gestures to her blindly though. ]

Exactly what you said. That there really is no escape, and maybe I should just accept it?

[undread]

I told you that's what I tried. Accepting it. It didn't make it better.

[if anything she's learned going along isn't easier than clawing tooth and nail.]

[recession]

...

Then I don't know what to do.

[undread]

For me, I would like to try and fight back again, I think. Even if it does wind up being meaningless.

[she lost her life so long ago; all the advantages she has are this sense of self she's retained.]

[recession]

You're probably a lot wiser than me in that regard then. And a lot stronger. All this and more's worn me down pretty bad.

[undread]

I'm not wise or strong at all, Daniël. [a small, dark smile.] It's been thirty years of this, and I'm tired of fighting, and many days I don't even know who I am - if there's any part of me left that isn't just her.

I just think I want to consider trying to not give up after all, that's all. [consider trying to not, that's as far as she can go.]

[recession]

...You're telling me that, but I haven't even been alive that long and I'm already on the precipice. So, you'll maybe understand a little bit why I think so?

I also often hear the same thing. That I'm no better than the rest, the people that I've tried to distance myself from, and it. That it's always there in me, as long as I exist. It's what I'm hearing now, ever since I tried to walk out of that shitshow.

[ Execution, that is. Really this has been the roughest 12 hours ever ICly. ]

[undread]

From whom are you hearing that.

[it's not from her.]

I don't even know what it is, or who they are, dear.

[recession]

...Sorry, I'm just talking nonsense, aren't I?

I'm not trying to burden you or trying to garner sympathy with a bunch of nihilistic talk. I'm just a bit worried, is all.

[undread]

It's not a burden or nonsense. I'm not telling you what you have to do.

[recession]

...I guess you aren't.

[ Silent for a moment, absently rubbing his upper arm. ]

Another week gone. Another six people also gone.

What do you think of our chances?