Ashlyn

[undread]

Comments

week 5; saturday

[undread]

[she's at the haunted house, sitting on the steps. but she will look up from the little doll she's putting finishing touches on to see ash. there's a bit of surprise and concern that pierces through the cold, stubborn grief she's feeling tonight.]

Ashlyn...

[killies]

[ ashlyn feels. bad? there's just a lot of upset emotions. sadness and frustration and worry and resignation and fear. it's no fun. ]

Hey. Just wanted to... check in. I guess. [ after kate... ]

[undread]

[making space for her to come sit.]

That's very kind of you. [she can imagine how complexly she must feel right now.] I think I would like to talk to you about it.

[killies]

[ a bit hesitant, but she'll come sit down. ]

Okay. Do you know if there's a plan for Kate's partner...? [ she assumes this is the part laudna wants to talk about. ]

[undread]

There is. That's going to be alright.

[it's not the part she was going to talk about.]

...Kate was the one who was Camille's partner. All those weeks ago. Both Cloud and Kanda were her doing.

[killies]

I see... I didn't know.

But Camille mentioned they'd tried to handle her, so I kind of figured it out a little bit.

[undread]

Yes. And I think what we learned about it is, after weeks went by, as they did for her, the affliction became too strong. We couldn't control it. We managed to keep her from acting at night and she still - the moment morning came -

[there wasn't any holding her back unless they kept her drugged and locked up constantly.]

But that's because it had gone so long. And, in any event, even though it didn't work, it was still worth attempting it.

[killies]

... It was worth the attempt.

And now you know how trying to handle things like that goes.

[undread]

Yes. [she hears that.] I know now that there's a clock that can run out. But there is time.

[killies]

That's what I've been counting on, yeah.

[undread]

Good. [she doesn't want to talk too directly about what was minutes from happening before ara started to ara, but. she doesn't want ash to feel hopeless, either.] I'm not ready to start giving up on people. Not even now.

[killies]

[ unfortunately there is an undercurrent of hopelessness. seeing people get midtrialed constantly will do that. ]

... Mathis wants to give up.

[undread]

...Yes.

[not a huge surprise there.]

Trying to convince him not to?

[killies]

I can't change his mind.

[undread]

No. It's not possible to, I think. No one can be made to fight for themselves.

[killies]

[ she goes quiet at that, mulling it over for a long moment. ]

But I'm still fighting for him...

[undread]

I'm not saying to give up on him, necessarily. [she does care about that pathetic boy.] Only that you cannot guarantee his participation.

[killies]

I can't guarantee much of anything anymore.

[undread]

...Maybe not.

[she continues to work on her doll, twisting some thread into a sweet little smile for it.]

It did work, a little. Thursday. We can do something similar again, if that will help. You couldn't know in advance what it would be.

[killies]

Then it doesn't really matter what I say, does it? If it's something that has to be a secret from me.

[undread]

It matters to me if you would agree to that or not.

[killies]

I don't want to lose control of myself again.

[ not that she likes the idea of other people exerting control to counteract that, either. but she's logical enough to lean towards the greater good. ]

[undread]

...Alright. I can't promise anything will work, but I don't want to leave you to deal with it on your own.

[killies]

[ she almost says 'it's worth trying' but then she thinks about kate and decides she doesn't necessarily believe that. she's just too scared and selfish to do the right thing instead. ]

Okay. Okay.

[undread]

[she will put an arm around her. her emotions are caring. she's uncertain what can be done, but she wants to help.]

It's worth trying. We all just have to get to the end.