[actually, this is a fairly empathetic response. everything she did, her over the top reactions, the way she let delilah manipulate her into doing something extreme, stemmed from the hook of the trauma she felt when she saw orym holding that sword. the way she went about it was insane, but her negative feelings about it were the catalyst.
still, seeing it all over again, seeing their reactions again, she comes away from the memory feeling guilty and ashamed, conflicted. she still feels she was right, but if everyone else felt she was so wrong, then maybe she was. ashlyn at least makes her feel a bit validated.]
He didn't even ask us, he just took it.
[but...without delilah whispering in her ear, affirming all of her paranoid and negative feelings and trying to convince her she's right, trying to isolate her, it's harder to hold onto that certainty.]
I wish I hadn't hurt him.
[anyway it's a +3 legendary sword i feel like any d&d or bg3 person hears that and is like oh, +3? nevermind i get where orym is coming from here]
[ she doesn't know dnd so she would probably interpret 'it's a very extra good sword' as 'okay so it's definitely cursed then.' how can a weapon be extra good. magic?? sounds cursed. ]
That part wasn't good. Once you realized you couldn't get it away from him without... magic, I guess, then you should have woken him up to talk it out. Or waited until the next day to bring it up.
[ even if she thinks laudna was right to want it gone, or to want to look at it, or even to want to take it, it's not good to act before even trying to talk. ]
No one is going to want to talk when they already think it's too late.
[she's willing to listen to ashlyn, at least a little on this; she wants to be defensive, but ashlyn doesn't even know these people. in fact, oddly, part of her is feeling a little defensive of orym. she's the only one who knows what he's like, how kind he can be, but she's misled ashlyn into thinking of him as unreasonable.]
Delilah always...
[she doesn't really know how to put this.]
She can't control me, but she always knows what to say. Even if I refuse her, she winds up finding the right button to push eventually. I'm tired of it. Why bother arguing with her when all she wants is to make both of us more powerful? [she just sounds resigned.]
If I'd asked, they wouldn't have given it to me, because they wouldn't want Delilah to have it. But I want to be stronger. Orym is allowed to take that sword and become stronger, why can't I?
Are you sure she wants to make both of you stronger?
Because you would be stronger with your friends. So if she's getting between you and them, then it's not actually helping you as much as it's helping her. [ especially if laudna doesn't want to be alone. if she likes being with those friends. ashlyn doesn't quite have the vocabulary to express that it sounds like delilah is trying to back laudna into a corner to only be able to rely on her.
she shakes her head... ]
How did you guys get that sword to begin with? [ again, trying to just logic out a simple answer when it's not the real point. ]
She wants to make herself stronger. [she knows that's the case.] But she wants us to succeed in our goals and not fail. She doesn't want me to die in battle. That would kill her, too.
[so she has reasons to spread that strength to laudna. but she hadn't really considered that before; that she's trying to drive a wedge between her and the others. things with imogen became so rocky because of delilah; everyone else trusted her less.]
We took it from the corpse of its last owner. An awful woman. But we lost a very dear friend in the process.
[ unfortunately, too caught up in trying to fix it, ashlyn fully fails to express any sympathy about the lost friend. terrible. ]
If all of you took it, then you should all get a say in what you do with it. You should get to take a vote.
And maybe you wouldn't like how the vote turns out, but it wouldn't be as bad as a fight where you hurt each other. You could just be mad about getting outvoted.
[it's fine. she doesn't really want to think about f.c.g. but it is definitely the case that laudna is the one most of all having a huge irrational emotional reaction and can't really be logicked through it.
she didn't want to have a vote, because while she genuinely was disturbed by orym carrying the sword, she also just had a secondary motive of wanting to steal it for herself.]
I suppose. Maybe I ought to have brought it up. I just didn't think of it until later.
[ but surely if everyone just acted fully rationally and detached themselves from any emotional reaction, it would all work out!! you know, like how people work!!!! ]
They tried to hear you out, even after waking up to a kind of scary situation. So I think that you can make up.
[ but also she thinks: they seemed way too unconcerned about how much orym had hurt laudna. he hadn't known, but once he realized... maybe she's just playing favorites. she doesn't think delilah is a good influence. ]
... But it's complicated. I get why you guys would fight.
[ she's come to love them dearly but cannot abide someone calling tyler nice. also before i forget, from now on into eternity, laudna will see ashlyn's shadow as having short hair, like so! ]
Kind of the opposite. If something moves in the [ sure, she'll use that phrase. ] waking world, they move in the Phantom Dimension too. But if we move something in the Phantom Dimension, the waking world version is unaffected.
Even injuries don't carry over fully. There's no physical trace of them and the pain is lessened by a lot.
I... [ she's a little uncomfortable saying this part. she shifts her weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortably. ] I hear things, sometimes. Auditory hallucinations. Like a side effect of my sensitive hearing.
Or that's what I thought, but it's been the phantoms. And if I've been hearing them my whole life, that means there's some connection between me and that place. Like maybe I'm the one who pulled the others in.
[ she sounds uncertain about it, though, like this is just her best guess. ]
It is similar to Imogen. [her hearing of other people's thoughts and emotions, her prophetic dreams, dragging them all into something dangerous.] I don't think you pulled them in. I suspect your sensitivity just made you alert in advance to something that might have otherwise been an unknown.
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still, seeing it all over again, seeing their reactions again, she comes away from the memory feeling guilty and ashamed, conflicted. she still feels she was right, but if everyone else felt she was so wrong, then maybe she was. ashlyn at least makes her feel a bit validated.]
He didn't even ask us, he just took it.
[but...without delilah whispering in her ear, affirming all of her paranoid and negative feelings and trying to convince her she's right, trying to isolate her, it's harder to hold onto that certainty.]
I wish I hadn't hurt him.
[anyway it's a +3 legendary sword i feel like any d&d or bg3 person hears that and is like oh, +3? nevermind i get where orym is coming from here]
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That part wasn't good. Once you realized you couldn't get it away from him without... magic, I guess, then you should have woken him up to talk it out. Or waited until the next day to bring it up.
[ even if she thinks laudna was right to want it gone, or to want to look at it, or even to want to take it, it's not good to act before even trying to talk. ]
No one is going to want to talk when they already think it's too late.
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Delilah always...
[she doesn't really know how to put this.]
She can't control me, but she always knows what to say. Even if I refuse her, she winds up finding the right button to push eventually. I'm tired of it. Why bother arguing with her when all she wants is to make both of us more powerful? [she just sounds resigned.]
If I'd asked, they wouldn't have given it to me, because they wouldn't want Delilah to have it. But I want to be stronger. Orym is allowed to take that sword and become stronger, why can't I?
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Because you would be stronger with your friends. So if she's getting between you and them, then it's not actually helping you as much as it's helping her. [ especially if laudna doesn't want to be alone. if she likes being with those friends. ashlyn doesn't quite have the vocabulary to express that it sounds like delilah is trying to back laudna into a corner to only be able to rely on her.
she shakes her head... ]
How did you guys get that sword to begin with? [ again, trying to just logic out a simple answer when it's not the real point. ]
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[so she has reasons to spread that strength to laudna. but she hadn't really considered that before; that she's trying to drive a wedge between her and the others. things with imogen became so rocky because of delilah; everyone else trusted her less.]
We took it from the corpse of its last owner. An awful woman. But we lost a very dear friend in the process.
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If all of you took it, then you should all get a say in what you do with it. You should get to take a vote.
And maybe you wouldn't like how the vote turns out, but it wouldn't be as bad as a fight where you hurt each other. You could just be mad about getting outvoted.
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she didn't want to have a vote, because while she genuinely was disturbed by orym carrying the sword, she also just had a secondary motive of wanting to steal it for herself.]
I suppose. Maybe I ought to have brought it up. I just didn't think of it until later.
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They tried to hear you out, even after waking up to a kind of scary situation. So I think that you can make up.
[ but also she thinks: they seemed way too unconcerned about how much orym had hurt laudna. he hadn't known, but once he realized... maybe she's just playing favorites. she doesn't think delilah is a good influence. ]
... But it's complicated. I get why you guys would fight.
[ and with that said... a memory of an argument resolved. ]
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Your friends are very nice.
[to be so understanding about how bossy she is.]
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[ she's come to love them dearly but cannot abide someone calling tyler nice. also before i forget, from now on into eternity, laudna will see ashlyn's shadow as having short hair, like so! ]
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Well. Perhaps not all nice, but they care for you.
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[but it's a little bit cute.]
What is the dangerous situation, precisely?
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Even injuries don't carry over fully. There's no physical trace of them and the pain is lessened by a lot.
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[or blame.]
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Or that's what I thought, but it's been the phantoms. And if I've been hearing them my whole life, that means there's some connection between me and that place. Like maybe I'm the one who pulled the others in.
[ she sounds uncertain about it, though, like this is just her best guess. ]
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It is similar to Imogen. [her hearing of other people's thoughts and emotions, her prophetic dreams, dragging them all into something dangerous.] I don't think you pulled them in. I suspect your sensitivity just made you alert in advance to something that might have otherwise been an unknown.
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Maybe. I don't know. They think that maybe we can open a rift between the two dimensions. And if that's the case and I opened it first...
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But... I... Did open one. On purpose. [ guess who's been compartmentalizing something for weeks. ]
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