mathis

[undread]

Comments

w4 sunday

[cumulative]

[just sets this a bit later so he's not still completely shut down

but wherever laudna finds him, he's just sitting there, his thoughts still empty enough that there's not really anything to pick up at the moment.]

[undread]

Hello, Mathis.

[she'll come and sit with him, wherever he is. her thoughts are quite quiet right now, too.]

[cumulative]

...Laudna.

[she gets a tiny little nod, there.]

[undread]

[if he'll let her, she'll put an arm lightly on his shoulder, gentle.]

I'm sorry.

[cumulative]

It must have been what she wanted.

[it was her choice. her decision. he was already resolved to accept that, whatever it might be.]

[undread]

I think...

[she has to weigh what she's going to say for a moment here.]

I think losing control over herself, being taken over and used by the cult, must have been a nightmare to her. From what I know, I think she would have preferred and accepted death many times over rather than endure that.

But I think she also hesitated, because so many here depended on her.

[cumulative]

I wouldn't... want her to stay only because of that. If she wanted to go.

[staying is already-- it's already hard enough.]

[undread]

I wouldn't, either. Even someone as strong as she is has a breaking point.

[even if it's hard.]

[cumulative]

...it was her choice to make. I helped keep her alive. So I knew... I would have to let her make it.

[undread]

Well. I don't think all is lost for them, do you? At the least, they can write.

[cumulative]

But they aren't here.

[that's-- a little plaintive, almost.]

[undread]

I know. [but they're not gone.] You can show her that she didn't need to feel guilty for leaving.

[cumulative]

...I'll try to.

[in a bit. right now he's not sure he can manage it.]

[undread]

You don't have to try tonight.

[she just means in general.]