[i did think it was so weird she refused to remove her hat!!!! but i was just like. who knows. i'm so stupid. however, laudna's reasoning of "if kate is a monster we just won't catch her" was genuine.]
...I understand now, I think, what you were worried about this weekend. I suppose I knew I ought to have pushed harder.
[good. hugs kate. she feels very sad, and worried. but she cares about her.]
I'm sorry that we didn't know. You're so very resourceful - [she killed two broody action boys] - but you don't deserve to have to deal with this alone. [or, well, with camille, fortunately.]
[she doesn't want to lose kate, after everything else. she never did.]
Talk to me about what you've been thinking. You don't know if you can - why? [i mean, she gets what she's saying, but.] Because some of us won't let you? Or because you feel it may be necessary for yourself?
[ laudna pets her hair, and the hat, barely hanging at this point, falls to the floor. there's a little haze of smoke, and it takes a moment to thin out enough to see through it, but her hand may find them first.
a pair of horns on her head. shadowy, like the rest of her. ]
[i see... well, she will let go to pick the hat back up off the floor and hand it to her.]
So am I. [...] I would say that in my opinion, the fact that there's a risk to having you around is more than outweighed by the benefits of having you here. My only fear is, if it's getting worse, if we run the risk of losing you entirely.
[she thinks it doesn't sound like kate wants to die, only that she feels like maybe she has to.]
I spoke with Camille, recently. If she could find a partner, she'd use her wish to help you, if she could. [they spoke only in general terms, laudna didn't know it was kate they were talking about, but that's what was discussed.] I don't know if there are limits, or what those are. The other option, of course, is that we end your life, and use the token we're awarded for that to ensure that no matter what, you'll return at the end of this.
[given the information from the graveyard, straight up u-turning may not be an option, though the graveyard also clearly wants them to slow down mercy kills, too.]
Or we simply manage the best we can for the several weeks we have left, understanding and accepting that there is a risk, but there is a risk for all of us, and it sounds like many of us are likely to die before the end comes and that may not be the worst thing.
Whatever outcome you believe is best, that's what we'll do. But no one will decide for you.
...They aren't so bad, by the way. The horns. I've known many very beautiful women with horns.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 5; monday
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Oh. Did more letters come in?
[ she sounds completely calm and casual, but her emotional state is still just. very miserable. ]
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[kate...]
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[ she'll come over to pick up the letters addressed to her. and she glances them over as she does.
her anxiety grows a little, and a faint wisp of smoke curls out from under the brim of her hat. (yeah she still has this on) ]
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...I understand now, I think, what you were worried about this weekend. I suppose I knew I ought to have pushed harder.
[...]
You don't need to be frightened of me.
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[ she clutches a hand to her chest. ]
... I wanted to tell you. I just couldn't bring myself to say the words.
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I'm sorry that we didn't know. You're so very resourceful - [she killed two broody action boys] - but you don't deserve to have to deal with this alone. [or, well, with camille, fortunately.]
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[ well. she hugs back. trembling. ]
I tried to do everything on my own. I thought I could manage somehow. But I just kept failing. I... I don't know what to do.
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I don't know, either. I don't think anyone does. But we can talk it through.
[she can't promise to fix things, just. to try to help.]
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I just... I was afraid of dying. So I didn't say anything.
But I don't know how to stop it.
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[even now, she is always so blunt.]
But if you don't want to die, then you don't need to.
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[ it's a question that she genuinely doesn't know the answer to. ]
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[she thinks of isolation, no one but dolls to talk to, for a moment.]
But we need one another, so we'll have to make do.
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[ her grip in this hug tightens for a moment. ]
I want to stay with you. I don't know if I can, but I really want to.
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[she doesn't want to lose kate, after everything else. she never did.]
Talk to me about what you've been thinking. You don't know if you can - why? [i mean, she gets what she's saying, but.] Because some of us won't let you? Or because you feel it may be necessary for yourself?
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What if next time, it's you? Or Yuffie?
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I think... we can all try to prevent that from happening. But it may not change anything. Sometimes, people get hurt.
[...]
Being on the other side may not be the end, either way.
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[ laudna pets her hair, and the hat, barely hanging at this point, falls to the floor. there's a little haze of smoke, and it takes a moment to thin out enough to see through it, but her hand may find them first.
a pair of horns on her head. shadowy, like the rest of her. ]
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So am I. [...] I would say that in my opinion, the fact that there's a risk to having you around is more than outweighed by the benefits of having you here. My only fear is, if it's getting worse, if we run the risk of losing you entirely.
[she thinks it doesn't sound like kate wants to die, only that she feels like maybe she has to.]
I spoke with Camille, recently. If she could find a partner, she'd use her wish to help you, if she could. [they spoke only in general terms, laudna didn't know it was kate they were talking about, but that's what was discussed.] I don't know if there are limits, or what those are. The other option, of course, is that we end your life, and use the token we're awarded for that to ensure that no matter what, you'll return at the end of this.
[given the information from the graveyard, straight up u-turning may not be an option, though the graveyard also clearly wants them to slow down mercy kills, too.]
Or we simply manage the best we can for the several weeks we have left, understanding and accepting that there is a risk, but there is a risk for all of us, and it sounds like many of us are likely to die before the end comes and that may not be the worst thing.
Whatever outcome you believe is best, that's what we'll do. But no one will decide for you.
...They aren't so bad, by the way. The horns. I've known many very beautiful women with horns.
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... I might reach a point where I can't decide. I don't know if... maybe I'm already there.
If I try to choose death, I think the monster will intervene.
And, when I tried to lock myself up on Thursday night so I wouldn't be a threat to anyone, the monster interfered with that, too.
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But the monster doesn't just take control on Thursday nights. It can prepare countermeasures if it knows what's coming.
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[so that's what camille meant.]
And you're very clever and resourceful, and so is the monster.
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